I Heart NY

Some selections from overheard in new york:

Disoriented stranger to random businessman: Excuse me, can you tell me where I can find the bus to New York?
Random businessman: This is New York.
Disoriented stranger: This is?!
Random businessman: Yeah, you're in New York.
Disoriented stranger: Ooh! Really?! Oh, now I see!

--5th Ave & 48th St

Indignant woman in crowded elevator: You're standing on my foot!
Man: What are feet for?

--168th St Subway Elevator

Boyfriend: I've got it. A giant human hamster ball.
Girlfriend: You are not putting our daughter in a hamster ball to keep her away from weird men.
Boyfriend: But you have to admit it's better than the idea of a leash or the electric fence.

--81st & York

Guy #1: Wow, The Hipster Handbook finally made it to the stoop sale.
Guy #2: I think we're witnessing the death of irony.

--Stoop Sale in Brooklyn

Three-year-old girl, pointing to a page in Eric Carle's The Mixed-Up Chameleon: Why does he have an umbrella?
Dad: Some people have to wear umbrellas all the time, otherwise they'll get lots of freckles or end up with squamous cell carcinoma and die.

--B Train

And my absolute favorite:

Starbucks barista (giving out some samples): Hey, would you like to sample our frappuccino?
Man with a bottle in a brown paper bag: Pssh. Nah. That shit don't go good with Hennessy.
Starbucks barista: Oh, okay. Have a good day.
Man with a bottle in a brown paper bag: Wait, sorry. That was fucked up. Do you wanna sample my Hennessy?

--Delancy & Allen, Lower East Side